What He Said

'Tis The Season

My all-time favorite Christmas song/skit.

I Just Pooped A Leprechaun

Who let me drink two pitchers of Guinness on Saturday?

Egad.

There's a lot going on

Okay, I haven't really kept you guys updated on my status. I no longer reside in Tusca-bama. From what I observed, they DO love the governor in Burningham. I moved up to the IC (Iowa City) and have had no real time to settle down. For crying out loud, I had a club practice after being here for 2 hours and have been going 100 mph since.

I'm planning on heading to "The Good Life" on Wednesday. The convention starts on Thursday as well as the first of the final four matches. ICE, even though we witnessed some good matches when we were in Lincoln, I think we missed out on one of the greatest wins of all time last Saturday. Max and Truth kept me updated during the last game and they did a fantastic job. They were also about 2 seconds behind Gametracker so I knew the Huskers had won before they told me. Max should definitely get into broadcasting, though.

I've got the mountain man beard going on right now. Don't have a reason to shave right now. I'll trim it down for the FF.

The Steelers are awesome. They may not win with style but they sure do hit hard.

I'm really excited to see everyone together this week. It's been a while. That's about it for now.

NFL Max Power Rankings

Here they are for week 13. Sorry they're late...I'm in Tampa.

Giants 42.35
Titans 36.30
Steelers 35.73
Colts 33.70
Buccaneers 32.10
Cowboys 31.19
Ravens 31.03
Patriots 29.92
Vikings 28.68
Panthers 28.27
Jets 27.72
Falcons 26.90
Eagles 25.68
Cardinals 25.64
Packers 23.86
Broncos 23.71
Saints 23.69
Dolphins 21.69
Texans 21.59
Redskins 21.53
Bears 20.71
Chargers 18.08
Browns 16.23
Jaguars 15.63
49ers 13.78
Bills 13.71
Seahawks 8.75
Bengals 6.86
Raiders 6.54
Chiefs 4.60
Lions 2.37
Rams 1.90

Heather, you broke my heart

As we all know, the Fightin' Willies hailing from Furman University have captured the SoCon and have an automatic bid to the big dance.

ESPNU was gracious enough to delay the selection show by 45 minutes so that we could all watch the 3rd place (blowout) game between to crappy mens basketball teams. With much anticipation I waited to see where the NCAA would send Furman (and the Huskers). As Heather took us through the bracket she revealed that the Paladins would have a short trip to Clemson for a showdown of biblical proportions against the Utes of Utah (way to be original). On a side note, the Huskers face Liberty at the Coliseum.

The bracket show continued down the right side of the bracket. I sent Ice a congrats and right before ESPNU headed to commercial we all heard that Stanford would take on Alabama in the first round.

WAIT! WTF!! DID SHE SAY ALABAMA?!?!

Hell yeah, Suede and Ice will both be dancin' this week. I couldn't believe it. I fired off a text to Suede to congratulate him as well. I called Max and as I was leaving him a voicemail, ESPNU came back and revealed that Stanford would be taking on ALBANY!!!

Heather you cruel woman why would you do this to me? Bring me to the point of pure joy and then bring reality crashing down. I should have known better than to fall for your games, but you knew exactly where to cut the deepest.

Billy, good luck on Friday. For those of you just tuning in, first serve is set for 5:00 p.m. EST on Friday December, 5th. Hopefully there will be a webcast or someone at the game can send me some text updates throughout the match.

IN A BATTLE WHERE NO ONE WILL WIN... WHO WILL WIN???


For those of you thinking I was talking about another Heather, shame on you. She's a nice girl

NFL Max Power Rankings

Congratulations Iceman! That is awesome.

On the NFL Gridiron, the Titans tasted defeat for the first time this season, vaulting the Giants into the top of the standings. Everything seems to be shuffling out pretty well. Only five weeks left!

Giants 40.21
Titans 34.82
Patriots 33.30
Steelers 32.35
Colts 32.10
Jets 31.32
Buccaneers 30.83
Cowboys 29.51
Cardinals 28.66
Ravens 28.28
Vikings 26.33
Panthers 26.17
Packers 25.96
Saints 24.96
Falcons 24.88
Redskins 23.67
Bears 23.06
Eagles 22.66
Dolphins 20.62
Broncos 20.11
Chargers 20.10
Texans 19.48
Browns 17.83
Jaguars 17.74
Bills 17.57
Seahawks 10.43
49ers 9.92
Raiders 9.63
Bengals 9.61
Lions 3.85
Rams 2.97
Chiefs 1.51

oh those buffies

It's Colorado week, and it's also time for the Buffies of Boulder to get thrashed by the Big Red. Here's a little clip to get everyone excited for some Friday football.

I realize this is a little old, but it is nice

CHAMPIONS

Well Suede beat me to the blog-o-nets but it is true..Furman is finally going to the NCAA tournament!! This is the first time Furman Volleyball has made it to the big show. It was an amazing four days at our conference tournament and none of our matches were boring. All of them went five and the last two were complete upsets. It was an amazing experience for me and I have to admit that it rivals our experience with the National Championship team of 2006. I am very proud of our team and cannot wait to celebrate this year's accomplishments with everyone back home! Let us not forget the Professor's great State Championship with the Pius X ThunderBolts.

As a side note, all state outside hitter Natalie Braun will be wearing a Furman jersey next season and we cannot wait to get her here.

Boys it has been an amazing ride so far and I cannot wait to see what happens next.

That's a Hell of a Match

They're going to the show!

I love it when a team wins that has a lower hitting percentage...




http://furmanpaladins.cstv.com/sports/w-volley/stats/2008-2009/fur1123.html

Humpday Thing That Is Awesome

Today's entry is summed up with a video:



Now just get another Roomba, cat, and give them both a lance. Hours of entertainment.

NFL Max Power Rankings

The top two teams have put some space between themselves an the rest of the pack. The Patriots are still a top tier team, despite a close loss to the Jets. It's the home stretch in the NFL, and every week threatens to make or break a season.

Titans 38.67
Giants 38.53
Patriots 31.31
Steelers 31.03
Colts 30.64
Cardinals 30.34
Buccaneers 29.78
Panthers 28.77
Cowboys 28.65
Packers 28.65
Jets 27.47
Eagles 25.97
Ravens 24.97
Broncos 24.71
Vikings 23.53
Dolphins 22.61
Falcons 22.28
Saints 22.27
Redskins 22.25
Chargers 21.56
Browns 21.33
Jaguars 20.54
Bears 20.10
Texans 15.98
Bills 15.80
Seahawks 11.85
Bengals 10.93
49ers 10.78
Rams 5.93
Raiders 5.03
Lions 4.90
Chiefs 3.28

No Matter How Many Times You Watch It...

He's on my team!

Bring It To Every Game

Ha fucking ha. See you later Ron Prince. Congratulations, this was your finest contribution to K-State athletics



Remember, you can't specks SUCKS without KSU.

GBR!

Oh Please Happen

Arrested Development - The Movie

On the red carpet, Jeffrey told me he just spoke to Mitch and the movie is a go! He says Mitch Hurwitz spoke to him this week and while he didn’t know when the start date was, he said, ”when the writer/director calls you it’s a pretty good sign.”

good to know you dudes are there for me

NFL Max Power Rankings

Sorry they are later than usual. Bye weeks are over, and we are into the homestretch. Let's see who is for real, and isn't.

Titans 37.12
Giants 36.40
Patriots 34.03
Steelers 29.91
Colts 29.75
Cardinals 29.17
Panthers 28.38
Buccaneers 27.99
Ravens 27.10
Eagles 26.96
Cowboys 26.43
Vikings 25.32
Packers 25.07
Jets 24.75
Falcons 24.66
Redskins 24.47
Bears 23.68
Chargers 22.68
Broncos 22.33
Jaguars 22.09
Dolphins 22.06
Saints 20.97
Browns 19.38
Bills 17.75
Texans 16.87
Seahawks 13.02
Bengals 9.94
Rams 8.42
49ers 8.29
Raiders 5.58
Lions 5.29
Chiefs 4.58

Friday morning tunes

What's happening?

I watched the Steelers-Redskins game last night. If you watched it, there was a fourth down for the Redskins late in the game where Dick LeBeau blew up the entire Redskin organization and James Farrior came up with a big sack. Except Farrior got called for a personal foul for helmet to helmet contact. I couldn't find any video of it today but it was a rediculous call. He came in with his face-mask up and hit Jason Campbell with his hands. Of course, when you put it in slow motion, Farrior's face-mask lighty touches but nobody's head snaps back or anything. Helmet to Helmet penalties should be designed to reduce the kind of hits like Hines Ward shows here where he completely leads with his head, his eyes aren't up or anything. Here's an article outlining my opinion. (the fact that the article is from the Steelers in no way influences my opinion)...Go Steelers! http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08293/920893-66.stm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3uM3d42b6M

NFL Max Power Rankings

The Patriots have slid after a loss to the Colts, but not enough to let the Steelers overtake them. The top four are pretty tightly packed, so the second half of the season is going to go along way to determine their final ranking. The second tier is also pretty tight, with seven teams separated by less than three points.

Titans 35.37
Giants 34.66
Patriots 32.63
Steelers 32.51
Cardinals 28.74
Eagles 28.70
Buccaneers 27.99
Colts 27.14
Packers 26.90
Panthers 26.56
Cowboys 26.43
Bears 25.43
Redskins 24.47
Ravens 24.14
Vikings 23.49
Saints 23.21
Falcons 22.42
Chargers 22.28
Jets 21.74
Browns 21.60
Dolphins 20.84
Broncos 20.11
Jaguars 19.85
Texans 19.83
Bills 19.20
Seahawks 14.24
Rams 11.43
Bengals 9.94
49ers 8.72
Lions 7.53
Raiders 7.40
Chiefs 4.98

The Coolest Thing You'll See All Day

So, we all know and love Brandon Rigoni. How many times did we drunkenly cheer as he blew holes in the opponents wedge, or absolutely light up some poor kick returner to whip Memorial Stadium into a frenzy? Tons.

Well, turns out he had a little bet going with Mark Manning (the Husker's wrestling coach). Rigoni had to score five times, on five attempts, with a running start toward a funnel at the three yard line. It's been an ongoing thing between the two of them for years, and finally, they took to the field to settle the score.

I love Husker Football.

Good Day.

It's been a good day.

Got up at 10:00.
Started doing laundry at 10:30
Started Drinking at 10:25
Had a sub from Lenny's Subs at 1:00
Watched "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"
Talked to an agent at Travel and Transport about Honeymoon Destinations
Found out that the top recruit in the 2009 Class is not coming to Alabama
Deposited my check from Alabama Volleyball Camps
Bought some carmex and stamps
Watched a DVRed version of Family (Road to Germany)
USF vs Louisville is about to start
Drunk

...the Phillies won

And He Just Lost My Vote.

Goddamn. You know, I was so close to actually voting for a Democrat this year. So close to voting for "hope" and "change". Then, I saw this video:

Obamanation - Que?

If you don't know why this pisses me off so much, let me tell you what I expect from my government.

1. Defend our borders.
2. Defend our culture.
3. Defend our language.

I do not expect my government to pander to a rapidly growing majority, many of whom are in our country illegally, and annually send upwards of $5 billion flowing across our border to their impoverished homeland ruled by a corrupt dictatorial "democracy".

Sorry Obama. But this year I'm voting for a candidate I can get behind.

(Yes, I've already bought the tshirt.)

NFL Max Power Rankings

Halfway through the season and the Patriots do just enough to stay at the top of the polls, but the Titans and Giants are charging hard. The Steelers maintain a hold in the top four, leading a whole herd of teams looking to push for the playoffs. The bye weeks will soon be over as the teams gear up for the stretch. And now, the Week 8 NFL Max Power Rankings.

Patriots 35.17
Titans 34.05
Giants 32.33
Steelers 29.20
Cowboys 28.76
Packers 28.22
Redskins 27.78
Buccaneers 27.40
Cardinals 26.61
Panthers 26.56
Eagles 25.92
Bears 24.85
Colts 24.60
Browns 24.15
Saints 23.21
Broncos 22.93
Jaguars 22.66
Chargers 22.28
Bills 21.86
Texans 21.72
Vikings 21.60
Ravens 21.59
Jets 19.08
Falcons 18.50
Dolphins 18.02
Seahawks 17.02
Rams 13.56
Raiders 10.90
49ers 8.72
Lions 8.11
Bengals 6.79
Chiefs 5.57

Cold and Flu Season

Does anyone ever get that feeling by your soft palate that there's some kind of snot there but you just can't spit it out? No matter how much you gargle or hock at it, there's no moving that invisible loogie.

Also we lost this weekend...twice. It's not that we played bad, we just played better competition and made some timely errors. The Steelers lost, too. Priority number one...Draft an offensive lineman that can protect your franchise quarterback. Draft many offensive linemen. Use the entire draft for offensive linemen. Get them in free agency, too. You can have 11 players on the field. Lets have 9 of them be linemen, 1 quarterback, and the other guy is a receiver or a running back. Super Bowl.

Humpday Thing That Is Awesome

Every Wednesday, Max gives you a glimpse into his world by revealing something he thinks is, indeed, awesome. Today's entry: "Fringe".

Holy God is the new TV show "Fringe" awesome. Like, better than "Lost" awesome. It's only five or six episodes into its first season, and I am completely hooked. The characters are great, from the understated hotness of the main character, to the ridiculously skinny tall black guy, to the bald creepy guy who likes to watch.

Its like X-Files, but with less whining and more better. The episodes are all self-contained, but there is an underlying plot that holds everything together. It's very well done and did I mention the lead character is kind of hot?

It does have Pacey from "Dawson's Creek" in it. But I'll take a little Joshua Jackson if it means I get to see people's brains get microwaved in a diner and some lady give birth to a "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?!".

In conclusion, "Fringe" is awesome.

Pandora

I know I am not always up to date on the latest things on the intertubes (that is what Max and D do the best), but I just learned about Pandora and I think it is pretty cool. It is great for those people who sit in their office and want to listen to some good music and not depend on the crap the radio has to offer. Also, unlike XM radio, you can customize your own stations and it will save them all for you. The only down side I have found is that you can only use Pandora on your phone if you are a Sprint or AT&T customer. For those unlucky souls who do not have either of these services do not worry; we can still listen online to our hearts content.

Like I have said before, I am not the proverbial internet "guru" but, if you like music, this is the place to go. Enjoy!

pandora.com

NFL Max Power Rankings

Just when you thought the Patriots were done, they hang 41 on a hapless Donkey defense and maintain the top spot. The AFC is looking strong, with the top three each in different divisions. But the next six teams on the list are all NFC teams, so there seems to be a lot parity between the conferences at the top. On to the Week 7 Max Power Rankings.

Patriots 34.57
Titans 32.46
Steelers 31.82
Giants 29.71
Buccaneers 29.60
Cardinals 28.64
Packers 28.22
Cowboys 26.56
Redskins 26.53
Colts 26.19
Jaguars 25.30
Bears 24.85
Bills 24.62
Panthers 24.53
Chargers 24.23
Eagles 23.81
Broncos 22.93
Vikings 21.60
Browns 21.51
Saints 21.26
Falcons 20.61
Ravens 19.25
Texans 19.12
Jets 18.16
Dolphins 15.26
Rams 14.16
Seahawks 14.14
Raiders 13.66
49ers 11.60
Bengals 9.38
Lions 9.36
Chiefs 6.49

Nice Hit.

I Expect You To Die, Mr. Bond.

So, on Friday I got a new project.

I am on the team that will be putting the materials together for the Lincoln Chapter of the American Marketing Association's Prism Awards.

The theme: James Bond.

Hot Damn.

Macbook?

Here's a question...the new Macbook or a new Dell XPS 1330? I love how people describe the Dell as "sexy"...not unlike myself. On the other hand, the Macbook has unibody technology. This is a pickle.

Simpletech External Harddrive

This thing is crapping out on me and I swear to God if I lose all my music and pictures and stuff I will rain unholy fire and brimstone on Santa Ana, California.

Humpday Thing That Is Awesome

Every Wednesday, Max gives you a glimpse into his world by revealing something he thinks is, indeed, awesome. Today's entry: Carmex.

Holy God is Carmex awesome. It is the most addictive, soothing lip balm ever. I'm not sure if there is anything better than the relief that comes with coating your lips with the translucent yellow substance. Truly, I'm not sure.

It comes in tiny little pots you can dip your finger in. It comes in an easy dispensing squeeze tube. And now it comes in a clickable stick format. Take your pick. Each method is guaranteed to deliver Octinoxate and Oxybenzone to your parched kissers.

Plus, there's the old urban legend that the makers lace it with drugs to keep you coming back for more. Wait a minute. A palliative ointment that comes with chemical dependence? Sign me up.

In conclusion, Carmex is awesome.

bored

omg am i bored.

i have been watching a status bar on a computer screen for the last 5 hours.

NFL Max Power Rankings

Week 6 was a shakeup...with some of the top teams losing games and some of the bottom teams winning. The Patriots were able to hang on to first, thanks to losses by the Cowboys, Giants and Redskins. There is a bit of a logjam (I just got Truth's attention) for the top five spots, and an even bigger mess in the middle. The next few weeks should separate the wheat from the chaff.

Patriots 31.71
Titans 30.71
Cowboys 30.58
Steelers 29.69
Colts 29.04
Cardinals 28.64
Giants 28.63
Buccaneers 28.09
Chargers 26.69
Broncos 25.79
Packers 25.37
Jaguars 25.30
Redskins 24.81
Saints 24.59
Eagles 23.81
Vikings 23.35
Browns 23.23
Bears 23.10
Bills 22.16
Panthers 21.20
Jets 20.65
Falcons 20.61
Dolphins 18.27
Texans 17.73
Ravens 16.24
Seahawks 15.65
49ers 12.68
Bengals 11.51
Lions 10.75
Raiders 10.75
Rams 10.14
Chiefs 8.24

We went 2-0!

Wow. I didn't think it was a possibility but we swept a weekend in the SEC! We beat Arkansas 3-1 on Friday and then beat Ole Miss 3-1 on Sunday. We switched the lineup from a 5-1 to a 6-2 and we increased our kills from 40 kills/match to 60 kills/match. That'll do it. Now we just have to do it vs Florida and Kentucky.

I saw that Furman lost to Samford. Dude, we played Samford in our pre-conference tournament and they are good. They got that transfer from Middle Tennessee State (the lefty) that is rediculously good. She just decided to go to law school at Samford for her senior year...and said, "Oh, by the way, I think I'll play volleyball for these guys, too!"

I'm upset but encouraged by the Husker's performance this weekend at Texas Tech. I'm very upset about the way it ended. Joe, you just gotta take that sack and score on one of the next two plays. But still, we've got a good season ahead of us. GBR!

Some Friday Morning Tunes

The Quarter Century

Now over the last few years I have been looking forward to my birthdays because I always knew that day would be surrounded by days of drunken debauchery and just plain goodness. Well, this year marks a quarter century for me and I think it is a monumental event for The Table as a whole. I am the last member to reach this point and it is a shame that we cannot all celebrate it together. People say that 25 is a defining point in one's life. It is at this age where we are to start being an adult; at least that is what society says. We all know I am not one to conform easily and I have just one thing to say to these people...BLAMMO! To those personages who do not think that beer is part of a nutritious breakfast...BLAMMO! I will not give up what The Table has worked and fought so hard to accomplish. You might be asking yourself "What on earth is Ice talking about?" Well, my brethren, I am talking about our age old tradition of Jackassery. Who cares that we are now a combined age of over 100...BLAMMO! Oh man, I cannot wait until December; The Table will once again stand on all fours...just the way B Shizzle likes it.

Super Max!

Teehee.

I didn't realize...

...that "This Ain't a Scene" by Fallout Boy was such a high song vocally. I dabbled in it for karaoke tonight and 1. you can't say "God damn" in front of a crowd at BW's before 11:00. 2. that song is really high to sing. I don't think I'll be trying that one again anytime soon!

Humpday Thing That Is Awesome

Every Wednesday, Max gives you a glimpse into his world by revealing something he thinks is, indeed, awesome. Today's entry: fine-tipped pens.

Holy God are fine-tipped pens awesome. Is there anything better than laying down an incredibly straight, incredibly smooth line in red, black or blue ink? No. The answer is no.

It doesn't smudge like pencil. It doesn't bleed through the paper like marker. It doesn't smear like thicker tips that lay down a lot of ink. It just gives precise control over your doodles and notes. It puts the entire languages at your disposal. Allows you to create an entire universe to conquer.

Plus, the familiar "click" of the cap popping off means you are about to unleash the contents of your brain into the world. There are few things that match the feeling of pressing the pen against a blank piece of paper. The possibilities are myriad. You are about to make thoughts and ideas concrete, tangible. It is the ultimate beginning to unending possibilities.

In conclusion: Fine-tipped pens are awesome.

Sister Act

SNL is becoming relevant again. This is hilarious.

NFL Max Power Rankings

Well, Reggie Bush is a legit NFL stud, but his team wasted an all-star effort. The Bills ran into a team that hit back, and lost their first game of the season. The Chiefs looked fantastic. Pittsburgh gutted out another workman-like victory. The Patriots are still the tops, but can they maintain the position with the Cowboys, Giants and Titans nipping at their heels. Here they are, the Week 6 Max Power Rankings.

Patriots 35.38
Cowboys 32.88
Giants 32.09
Titans 30.71
Steelers 29.69
Broncos 28.65
Redskins 28.40
Cardinals 26.34
Colts 25.92
Bears 25.22
Panthers 24.75
Buccaneers 24.54
Packers 23.25
Chargers 23.02
Jaguars 22.44
Vikings 22.30
Bills 22.16
Eagles 21.85
Saints 21.46
Dolphins 20.17
Browns 19.77
Ravens 19.36
Jets 18.75
Falcons 18.49
Seahawks 17.77
Texans 15.83
Raiders 14.30
49ers 14.14
Bengals 13.41
Lions 11.80
Chiefs 8.24
Rams 6.55

I was under the impression that everyone had heard...

Does anyone else have Surfin' Bird stuck in their heads?

Time To Die, Mr. Bond.

I don't wear watches (because I don't own one that works), but if I did, it would be one of these awesome 007 Villain watches from Swatch.

I love the Dr. No version.

Big Weekend

I work best in lists...
1. Florida tonight
2. Biggest recruit (on paper) that Alabama has ever seen for volleyball. Although I'm bound by NCAA regulations to tell you who she is, she's got game.
3. Alabama vs Kentucky
4. HUSKERS vs Missouri...I hate Missouri
5.Alabama volleyball vs South Carolina
6. Steelers vs Jags...Payback. Jerks.
...If we can go 6 for 6 this weekend, I should get a raise.

Master Anglers

Professor Truth and Max went fishing last night, with sexy results.

Humpday Thing That Is Awesome

Every Wednesday, Max gives you a glimpse into his world by revealing something he thinks is, indeed, awesome. Today's entry: soup.

Holy God is soup awesome. Of all the culinary artists since the dawn of time, none has done more than the first sonuvabitch who threw everything laying around the cave into a mammoth-skin bag and boiled it. That man was a genius.

The thing I like about soup is it can be anything. What's your favorite food? Steak? Put it in the soup. You like broccoli? Throw it in. You adore leg of lamb? Let's simmer that for an hour and see how it tastes. Why the hell not. It's soup! To quote the modern genius Carl Weathers, "You got yourself a stew goin'."

Soup is amazing. It's magic. It tastes better after you've left it sit in the fridge over night. Let's see salad do that!

In conclusion: Soup is awesome.

Compliance Meeting!

I'm about to go to a compliance meeting to make sure we are up to date on all the rules of the NCAA. I love these damn meetings because they serve these ham and cheese croissants. They are delicious. They may be more delicious because they're free, I don't know.

home

good to be back on the tubes.


feels good.

NFL Max Power Rankings

In my constant effort to be a huge nerd, I have applied rudimentary scientific principles to NFL games. Here are the Week 5 Max Power Rankings.

Patriots 34.31
Cowboys 32.18
Giants 29.27
Titans 28.96
Steelers 27.71
Broncos 26.91
Buccaneers 26.28
Redskins 26.19
Packers 26.10
Chargers 25.81
Bills 24.88
Jaguars 24.42
Colts 24.30
Eagles 24.06
Saints 23.86
Cardinals 23.67
Bears 22.17
Panthers 21.41
Ravens 21.11
Seahawks 20.59
Vikings 19.90
Browns 19.77
Jets 18.75
Texans 17.45
Dolphins 17.38
Falcons 15.64
49ers 15.21
Lions 14.35
Raiders 14.30
Bengals 14.11
Chiefs 11.58
Rams 6.55

Girl's Night Out

So I just get done watching Correll Buckhalter not get into the end-zone from one yard out (3 times) and I give Angie a call to say goodnight. When she answers there is a burst of laughter from 4 tipsy girls who are having a "girls night." Angie then passes me around to everyone in the the group and I make nice talk with all of them. She has to let me go and call back once everyone leaves. Then she tells me that I killed the buzz of all the girls in the group because I'm a grouch. I'm a little indifferent to this news...first, I wasn't expecting that level of energy when I called, so I think I should be cut some slack for carrying on a pretty good conversation. Second, it's good to know that I can turn off 4 drunk girls from 500 miles away.
Go Steelers!

Volleyball Iron Bowl

Like many people from Nebraska, I had never heard of or cared for the stupid Iron Bowl. Don't get me wrong, I've come to enjoy my Alabama football. The atmosphere is great on gameday and they're actually good now. Having said that..."GBR!"
Anyway, the volleyball version of the iron bowl is taking place tonight in Tuscaloosa in the CAVE where Alabama is 15-1 against Auburn since the turn of the century. We are currently trying to take our team "From Good to Great" (Which is a book, too) and we're not exactly sure which team is going to show up tonight...the great one, or the crappy one. We will see. We will see.
...The Huskers are good.

BLAMMO!

Well, it has been entirely too long since someone has written on blog and i am taking it upon myself to put something up there. as we all know the Table is once again uniting. not in lincoln but in chicago. if this is not the mother of great ideas than i don't know what is. with the last minute addition of suede benjamin the Table will, for three days, be whole once again. now, i don't know what will actually happen, but in my mind it looks something like this. four guys walk into a bar and about half hour later the bar closes because they are already out of beer. as we leave, the bar spontaneously combusts and the naperville firefighter squad is called into action. now, because the naperville fire department did not take the advice of a warning e-mail sent to them by an anonymous author that fires would be popping up all over the city, they are not ready for the fire and bar number one burns to the ground. it doesn't stop there my friends.

multiple bars are visited and strange occurences start happening throughout the city. for the first time in the cities history, every bar is having karaoke all weekend. not only do they have karaoke but PBR and Natural Light are on sale for $1 everywhere you look. people see us as we walk into bars and cannot figure out why they know us. whispers of "they can't be the ghostbusters...they're missing the black guy" and "if they were going to rob the place they would all have black suits on" float through the air. at one time we wonder if we hear a conversation about a bearshark? as the girls walk by, they hesitate...wondering where they have smelt that combination of old spice and jaeger. it's mystifying and they can't help but stay and figure out what it is that is so desirable.

than we all wake up the next morning in a pile in the closet. there is a chick passed out in the tub and one naked on the bed wondering why she smells like old spice and jaeger only to later find a card in her purse. we all look at each other and laugh because that was only the first night and we have two left to go. with a war cry like BLAMMO! we enter the weekend hungover but ready to endure anything that comes our way. especially that chick who we thought was hot but then tossed her out of the room the next morning when we realized she looked liked something from Hellraiser.

Alright boys...let's get to it! BLAMMO!

I Love Rick Astley

http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

If you love Rick Astley you'll love this link!

Max's Ninjas

I saw this and thought of Max right away...how can you not?

Claudio melts my face!

Saw Coheed last night opening for Stinkin' Park (I'm so clever). They are sooooo good. Even Dee likes Welcome Home now that I've made him play it 300 times on Rock Band.

Regular Everyday Normal Guy

This is pretty much the theme song of these four guys.

Correlation to the 6 Stages?

Apparently most of America doesn't know how to relax and have a beer after work. Or, a lot of America lies about how much alcohol they drink. Either way, I think the 6 stages of Billy are positively correlated with alcohol consumption. Also, I have found a positive correlation with the 6 stages and girls without gag reflexes which, in turn, is positively correlated with alcohol consumption. There seems to be an underlying theme here. My thinking is this: without alcohol the 6 stages of Billy would have never been created and therefore we would not have an accurate count of the girls in the world who do not have gag reflexes. I will take it upon myself to further study this topic because I think it is vital to obtain an accurate numerical idea of how many of these women are out there. LET THE RESEARCH CONTINUE!

Your Results:
Based on your Responses:It is likely that your current drinking patterns are hazardous or harmful to your health and well being. Your responses to the AUDIT (Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test) are in a range believed to be consistent with problems related to drinking. However, the AUDIT cannot diagnose any condition or tell you for certain if alcohol use is harming your health; rather, it is a screening test to determine the likelihood of problematic drinking, and thus whether you should seek further evaluation.

Many people are not aware of how their alcohol consumption compares to that of the general public. More than 97.5% of the general adult American population and 96% of men consume fewer drinks per week than you reported consuming.

Recommended Action:Because your results indicate that your drinking patterns may be hazardous or harmful, consider seeking further evaluation from your doctor or other qualified health professional, who can help you determine if your alcohol consumption is adversely affecting your health or interfering with your work and relationships. You may also want to learn more about health problems related to drinking and ways to reduce your risk. The links below will assist you in locating a local health professional for further assistance, and in making well informed health decisions about alcohol.
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Learn more about alcohol and health

Bill Sighting in Lincoln Nebraska

There may or may not have been a couple of Bill sightings in Lincoln, NE this Holiday season. There were a lucky few who were able to witness the spectacle that are the 6 Stages of Billy. It is a sight to see and I recommend trying it...you never know what will happen. Sometimes the 6 Stages cause a ripple effect causing others to be enveloped in it's awesome power. Those who have experienced this ripple effect know it' s power and were amazed by the outcome. The 6 Stages of Billy are an incredible force. Few can wield it's power. Many have died trying to use it. It is so powerful that it can turn a Tuesday into a Friday. So be careful out there; you never know when the 6 stages are upon you. By the time you have figured it out it is too late. YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN BILLED!

some side effects might include: soreness of mouth/throat/groin/a$&, loss of clothes, distinct smell of jaeger on your person, a strong desire for a shower, and a hint of old spice lingering in the nostrils.

These Guys Are Coaches?