I Just Pooped A Leprechaun

Who let me drink two pitchers of Guinness on Saturday?

Egad.

NFL Max Power Rankings

Here they are for week 13. Sorry they're late...I'm in Tampa.

Giants 42.35
Titans 36.30
Steelers 35.73
Colts 33.70
Buccaneers 32.10
Cowboys 31.19
Ravens 31.03
Patriots 29.92
Vikings 28.68
Panthers 28.27
Jets 27.72
Falcons 26.90
Eagles 25.68
Cardinals 25.64
Packers 23.86
Broncos 23.71
Saints 23.69
Dolphins 21.69
Texans 21.59
Redskins 21.53
Bears 20.71
Chargers 18.08
Browns 16.23
Jaguars 15.63
49ers 13.78
Bills 13.71
Seahawks 8.75
Bengals 6.86
Raiders 6.54
Chiefs 4.60
Lions 2.37
Rams 1.90

NFL Max Power Rankings

Congratulations Iceman! That is awesome.

On the NFL Gridiron, the Titans tasted defeat for the first time this season, vaulting the Giants into the top of the standings. Everything seems to be shuffling out pretty well. Only five weeks left!

Giants 40.21
Titans 34.82
Patriots 33.30
Steelers 32.35
Colts 32.10
Jets 31.32
Buccaneers 30.83
Cowboys 29.51
Cardinals 28.66
Ravens 28.28
Vikings 26.33
Panthers 26.17
Packers 25.96
Saints 24.96
Falcons 24.88
Redskins 23.67
Bears 23.06
Eagles 22.66
Dolphins 20.62
Broncos 20.11
Chargers 20.10
Texans 19.48
Browns 17.83
Jaguars 17.74
Bills 17.57
Seahawks 10.43
49ers 9.92
Raiders 9.63
Bengals 9.61
Lions 3.85
Rams 2.97
Chiefs 1.51

NFL Max Power Rankings

The top two teams have put some space between themselves an the rest of the pack. The Patriots are still a top tier team, despite a close loss to the Jets. It's the home stretch in the NFL, and every week threatens to make or break a season.

Titans 38.67
Giants 38.53
Patriots 31.31
Steelers 31.03
Colts 30.64
Cardinals 30.34
Buccaneers 29.78
Panthers 28.77
Cowboys 28.65
Packers 28.65
Jets 27.47
Eagles 25.97
Ravens 24.97
Broncos 24.71
Vikings 23.53
Dolphins 22.61
Falcons 22.28
Saints 22.27
Redskins 22.25
Chargers 21.56
Browns 21.33
Jaguars 20.54
Bears 20.10
Texans 15.98
Bills 15.80
Seahawks 11.85
Bengals 10.93
49ers 10.78
Rams 5.93
Raiders 5.03
Lions 4.90
Chiefs 3.28

Oh Please Happen

Arrested Development - The Movie

On the red carpet, Jeffrey told me he just spoke to Mitch and the movie is a go! He says Mitch Hurwitz spoke to him this week and while he didn’t know when the start date was, he said, ”when the writer/director calls you it’s a pretty good sign.”

NFL Max Power Rankings

Sorry they are later than usual. Bye weeks are over, and we are into the homestretch. Let's see who is for real, and isn't.

Titans 37.12
Giants 36.40
Patriots 34.03
Steelers 29.91
Colts 29.75
Cardinals 29.17
Panthers 28.38
Buccaneers 27.99
Ravens 27.10
Eagles 26.96
Cowboys 26.43
Vikings 25.32
Packers 25.07
Jets 24.75
Falcons 24.66
Redskins 24.47
Bears 23.68
Chargers 22.68
Broncos 22.33
Jaguars 22.09
Dolphins 22.06
Saints 20.97
Browns 19.38
Bills 17.75
Texans 16.87
Seahawks 13.02
Bengals 9.94
Rams 8.42
49ers 8.29
Raiders 5.58
Lions 5.29
Chiefs 4.58

NFL Max Power Rankings

The Patriots have slid after a loss to the Colts, but not enough to let the Steelers overtake them. The top four are pretty tightly packed, so the second half of the season is going to go along way to determine their final ranking. The second tier is also pretty tight, with seven teams separated by less than three points.

Titans 35.37
Giants 34.66
Patriots 32.63
Steelers 32.51
Cardinals 28.74
Eagles 28.70
Buccaneers 27.99
Colts 27.14
Packers 26.90
Panthers 26.56
Cowboys 26.43
Bears 25.43
Redskins 24.47
Ravens 24.14
Vikings 23.49
Saints 23.21
Falcons 22.42
Chargers 22.28
Jets 21.74
Browns 21.60
Dolphins 20.84
Broncos 20.11
Jaguars 19.85
Texans 19.83
Bills 19.20
Seahawks 14.24
Rams 11.43
Bengals 9.94
49ers 8.72
Lions 7.53
Raiders 7.40
Chiefs 4.98

And He Just Lost My Vote.

Goddamn. You know, I was so close to actually voting for a Democrat this year. So close to voting for "hope" and "change". Then, I saw this video:

Obamanation - Que?

If you don't know why this pisses me off so much, let me tell you what I expect from my government.

1. Defend our borders.
2. Defend our culture.
3. Defend our language.

I do not expect my government to pander to a rapidly growing majority, many of whom are in our country illegally, and annually send upwards of $5 billion flowing across our border to their impoverished homeland ruled by a corrupt dictatorial "democracy".

Sorry Obama. But this year I'm voting for a candidate I can get behind.

(Yes, I've already bought the tshirt.)

NFL Max Power Rankings

Halfway through the season and the Patriots do just enough to stay at the top of the polls, but the Titans and Giants are charging hard. The Steelers maintain a hold in the top four, leading a whole herd of teams looking to push for the playoffs. The bye weeks will soon be over as the teams gear up for the stretch. And now, the Week 8 NFL Max Power Rankings.

Patriots 35.17
Titans 34.05
Giants 32.33
Steelers 29.20
Cowboys 28.76
Packers 28.22
Redskins 27.78
Buccaneers 27.40
Cardinals 26.61
Panthers 26.56
Eagles 25.92
Bears 24.85
Colts 24.60
Browns 24.15
Saints 23.21
Broncos 22.93
Jaguars 22.66
Chargers 22.28
Bills 21.86
Texans 21.72
Vikings 21.60
Ravens 21.59
Jets 19.08
Falcons 18.50
Dolphins 18.02
Seahawks 17.02
Rams 13.56
Raiders 10.90
49ers 8.72
Lions 8.11
Bengals 6.79
Chiefs 5.57

Humpday Thing That Is Awesome

Every Wednesday, Max gives you a glimpse into his world by revealing something he thinks is, indeed, awesome. Today's entry: "Fringe".

Holy God is the new TV show "Fringe" awesome. Like, better than "Lost" awesome. It's only five or six episodes into its first season, and I am completely hooked. The characters are great, from the understated hotness of the main character, to the ridiculously skinny tall black guy, to the bald creepy guy who likes to watch.

Its like X-Files, but with less whining and more better. The episodes are all self-contained, but there is an underlying plot that holds everything together. It's very well done and did I mention the lead character is kind of hot?

It does have Pacey from "Dawson's Creek" in it. But I'll take a little Joshua Jackson if it means I get to see people's brains get microwaved in a diner and some lady give birth to a "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?!".

In conclusion, "Fringe" is awesome.

I Expect You To Die, Mr. Bond.

So, on Friday I got a new project.

I am on the team that will be putting the materials together for the Lincoln Chapter of the American Marketing Association's Prism Awards.

The theme: James Bond.

Hot Damn.

Simpletech External Harddrive

This thing is crapping out on me and I swear to God if I lose all my music and pictures and stuff I will rain unholy fire and brimstone on Santa Ana, California.

Humpday Thing That Is Awesome

Every Wednesday, Max gives you a glimpse into his world by revealing something he thinks is, indeed, awesome. Today's entry: Carmex.

Holy God is Carmex awesome. It is the most addictive, soothing lip balm ever. I'm not sure if there is anything better than the relief that comes with coating your lips with the translucent yellow substance. Truly, I'm not sure.

It comes in tiny little pots you can dip your finger in. It comes in an easy dispensing squeeze tube. And now it comes in a clickable stick format. Take your pick. Each method is guaranteed to deliver Octinoxate and Oxybenzone to your parched kissers.

Plus, there's the old urban legend that the makers lace it with drugs to keep you coming back for more. Wait a minute. A palliative ointment that comes with chemical dependence? Sign me up.

In conclusion, Carmex is awesome.

NFL Max Power Rankings

Week 6 was a shakeup...with some of the top teams losing games and some of the bottom teams winning. The Patriots were able to hang on to first, thanks to losses by the Cowboys, Giants and Redskins. There is a bit of a logjam (I just got Truth's attention) for the top five spots, and an even bigger mess in the middle. The next few weeks should separate the wheat from the chaff.

Patriots 31.71
Titans 30.71
Cowboys 30.58
Steelers 29.69
Colts 29.04
Cardinals 28.64
Giants 28.63
Buccaneers 28.09
Chargers 26.69
Broncos 25.79
Packers 25.37
Jaguars 25.30
Redskins 24.81
Saints 24.59
Eagles 23.81
Vikings 23.35
Browns 23.23
Bears 23.10
Bills 22.16
Panthers 21.20
Jets 20.65
Falcons 20.61
Dolphins 18.27
Texans 17.73
Ravens 16.24
Seahawks 15.65
49ers 12.68
Bengals 11.51
Lions 10.75
Raiders 10.75
Rams 10.14
Chiefs 8.24

Super Max!

Teehee.

Humpday Thing That Is Awesome

Every Wednesday, Max gives you a glimpse into his world by revealing something he thinks is, indeed, awesome. Today's entry: fine-tipped pens.

Holy God are fine-tipped pens awesome. Is there anything better than laying down an incredibly straight, incredibly smooth line in red, black or blue ink? No. The answer is no.

It doesn't smudge like pencil. It doesn't bleed through the paper like marker. It doesn't smear like thicker tips that lay down a lot of ink. It just gives precise control over your doodles and notes. It puts the entire languages at your disposal. Allows you to create an entire universe to conquer.

Plus, the familiar "click" of the cap popping off means you are about to unleash the contents of your brain into the world. There are few things that match the feeling of pressing the pen against a blank piece of paper. The possibilities are myriad. You are about to make thoughts and ideas concrete, tangible. It is the ultimate beginning to unending possibilities.

In conclusion: Fine-tipped pens are awesome.

Sister Act

SNL is becoming relevant again. This is hilarious.

NFL Max Power Rankings

Well, Reggie Bush is a legit NFL stud, but his team wasted an all-star effort. The Bills ran into a team that hit back, and lost their first game of the season. The Chiefs looked fantastic. Pittsburgh gutted out another workman-like victory. The Patriots are still the tops, but can they maintain the position with the Cowboys, Giants and Titans nipping at their heels. Here they are, the Week 6 Max Power Rankings.

Patriots 35.38
Cowboys 32.88
Giants 32.09
Titans 30.71
Steelers 29.69
Broncos 28.65
Redskins 28.40
Cardinals 26.34
Colts 25.92
Bears 25.22
Panthers 24.75
Buccaneers 24.54
Packers 23.25
Chargers 23.02
Jaguars 22.44
Vikings 22.30
Bills 22.16
Eagles 21.85
Saints 21.46
Dolphins 20.17
Browns 19.77
Ravens 19.36
Jets 18.75
Falcons 18.49
Seahawks 17.77
Texans 15.83
Raiders 14.30
49ers 14.14
Bengals 13.41
Lions 11.80
Chiefs 8.24
Rams 6.55

Time To Die, Mr. Bond.

I don't wear watches (because I don't own one that works), but if I did, it would be one of these awesome 007 Villain watches from Swatch.

I love the Dr. No version.

NFL Max Power Rankings

In my constant effort to be a huge nerd, I have applied rudimentary scientific principles to NFL games. Here are the Week 5 Max Power Rankings.

Patriots 34.31
Cowboys 32.18
Giants 29.27
Titans 28.96
Steelers 27.71
Broncos 26.91
Buccaneers 26.28
Redskins 26.19
Packers 26.10
Chargers 25.81
Bills 24.88
Jaguars 24.42
Colts 24.30
Eagles 24.06
Saints 23.86
Cardinals 23.67
Bears 22.17
Panthers 21.41
Ravens 21.11
Seahawks 20.59
Vikings 19.90
Browns 19.77
Jets 18.75
Texans 17.45
Dolphins 17.38
Falcons 15.64
49ers 15.21
Lions 14.35
Raiders 14.30
Bengals 14.11
Chiefs 11.58
Rams 6.55